Getting a new job can take months, even years.
Getting greater clarity about what you are bringing to your existing work that could be creating the problem in the first place can change your work situation overnight! This is because the only things in your control are your thoughts, feelings and behaviour.But with a little understanding, these can all change instantly!This drawing of mine shows how unlikely it is that we ever really see ‘the full picture’:
In truth, we only allow ourselves to ‘see’ that which fits into our LIFE SCRIPT. If my life script only allows me to see myself as a bad person, then no matter how many people tell me how much they value my help (green, black and blue), I only see the ‘red’ colour because that was someone who complained about something I did.
This idea that we filter out anything that does not fit into our scripts was first developed by a psychotherapist called Jacqui Schiff when she coined the phrase “Frame of reference”. Our frame of reference protects us from anything that does not fit in with our life script. The frame of reference in this drawing is actually represented by the ‘script’ glasses which have a red filter that only lets in ‘red’ light.
Only by seeing ‘the full picture’ can we truly see what we are bringing to a situation and how we can change that. In order to see this full picture we need to know what it is that we are ‘filtering out’. This is why learning about LIFE SCRIPTS in general and about our own particular life script in particular is vital for succeeding in life.
In the example above, if I do not believe I am a good person, I may overwork to ‘prove’ my value to those around me and end up getting ill with exhaustion. With this knowledge of my life script, instead of complaining that I am a ‘victim to an impossible job,’ I am able instead to monitor my work load very carefully. Instead of complaining to my colleagues, I am able to get support from them by explaining this pattern to them. I can use their ‘reality’ to check out my own and discuss my work load and schedule with them.They are only too happy to point out that it is not necessary to “work my fingers to the bone” and to advise me on changes I need to make to my diary.
Nothing actually changed in my work situation, but my work situation changed completely!
“The ‘Frame of Reference’ is just one aspect of the psychological model we call LIFE SCRIPT in Transactional Analysis. In truth, this one idea of life script permeates ALL of the other ELEVEN models that I teach on my psycho-educational programme, THE KNOWLEDGE. We use all of the other models to help discover just what the key components of our life scripts are. Once we have this information it is relatively easy to make changes that enable us to succeed in life.” – Gerry Pyves